FORREST GUMP IS MY ROLE MODEL
April 13, 2010 by Kathleen
It’s early on Easter morning, April 4, 2010, and I woke up thinking about life and all of the challenges we are facing with the global economic crisis, environmental changes, poverty, war, competition for limited resources, and just, well, all of it! I am used to asking for answers to these kinds of unanswerable questions by paying attention to what floats through my mind in the early hours before my rational mind takes over. What a surprise to see an image of Forrest Gump running in the desert. It came to me then that I want to be more like Forrest and remember what life was like in the innocence of youth before my ego and my rational mind hijacked my spirit and my soul.
Some notable quotes from my new role model, Forrest, might just enhance my point:
Forrest Gump: My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”
Mrs. Gump: You have to do the best with what God gave you.
Forrest Gump: Mama says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere.
Forrest Gump: Now you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was running!
Forrest Gump: When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know, I went.
Elderly Southern Woman on Park Bench: And so, you just ran?
Forrest Gump: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
Jenny Curran: Were you scared in Vietnam?
Forrest Gump: Yes. Well, I don’t know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out… and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water… like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It’s so beautiful.
Jenny Curran: I wish I could’ve been there with you.
Forrest Gump: You were.
Forrest Gump: Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.
Forrest Gump: What’s my destiny, Mama?
Mrs. Gump: You’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself.
Well, I wish I could be more like Forrest, and sometimes I can feel his innocence and awe for life without all of the shouldas and ought- tos coming in to disturb my present moment. I know with humility and extreme gratitude that my teachers, the horses, my dog Grace, and all of the animals and nature are really speaking to me, if I would only listen! Remember how Forrest ended up being in a lot of places just because he showed up?
Thinking about all of this brought me back to the work of Anthropologist E. Richard Sorenson and his research on what he calls preconquest, characteristics of the minds of indigenous peoples, versus postconquest typified by modern rationalism and the consciousness that develops from these different worldviews. His research is extensive and interesting as an understanding about what happens when the logical, rational Western mind overtakes the liminal awareness of the indigenous tribes and the animal kingdom. Preconquest consciousness is rooted in feeling and sensory awareness. Like our horse teachers, individuals in such societies are highly sensitive to changes in muscle tension in others indicating shifts in mood. If others feel good then you feel good; if others feel bad then you feel bad. Sorenson calls this “socio-sensual” awareness.
I believe that many of us are throwbacks to this type of consciousness and that our sensitivities and “sixth sense” are a result of us recovering our true natures. We feel what is not right but often feel helpless to change the situation. In my 30 years of experience as a therapist, I encountered many sensitive individuals who had been broken by the system or had used drugs and other means to dull their senses to survive in this paradigm. When individuals who operate from an epistemology of feeling encounter reason, they will automatically be overshadowed by reason. Individuals operating from a feeling perspective will be abused or silenced by having their experiences matched against the rigorous logic of rational analysis. Feeling individuals feel invalidated, and innate understanding is blocked by “truth.” The question is “What is “truth”? Our opportunity is to be able to integrate our understanding based on scientific knowledge and mystical wisdom and to create a new paradigm which is inclusive. Clear reason is rooted in the wisdom of the body through feeling which is certainly something the horses demonstrate for us.
This is a lot to digest, especially on a warm Sunday morning in Tucson, Arizona. However, I believe so many of us are interested in horses and other forms of animal assisted therapy for just some of the reasons stated by Sorensen’s work with the indigenous tribes of New Guinea. We need and are looking for this type of consciousness, awareness, mindfulness, and sensibility; and I believe working with the horses is one of the ways to be in this state of grace and openness. I especially like Sorensen’s observations that preconquest groups are both individualist and collective. When we look and observe the horses in their natural settings, we see this behavior and way of being all of the time. This consensual type of leadership allows for individual creativity and “socio-sensual” awareness when the motivation for individual well-being is integrated with the well-being of the entire community
Maybe this is an opportunity for us to learn from indigenous people, the animals, and to remember what Forrest Gump had to say. So thank you, Forrest, for reminding me, as one of my role models, to stay in the present, enjoy this day, and be grateful for Spring!
Kathleen Barry Ingram
April 2010
THE YIN AND THE YANG OF IT
February 14, 2010 by Kathleen
THE YIN AND YANG OF IT
Really listening from a deep heart space (the Yin) is paramount when I am mentoring or coaching an individual since only real and lasting change happens in relationship. As a relationship coach I hope to offer people the possibilities to take action (the Yang) in their lives for positive and sustainable change.
In the early 90’s I was in one of the many processes in my life of reinventing myself when I started a private psychotherapy practice in Tucson after being in the corporate world at Sierra Tucson. Bernadine Johnson (now retired and very married!) and I began a series of workshops we titled, Become Your Own Role Model. We were women who had grown up in the 50’s and 60’s ourselves with very traditional female role models and found ourselves self-supporting and single without much of a role model for how to be and how to do this. The initial offering morphed into future workshops around this theme with horses as co-facilitators. The horses and most definitely the mares ended up being very good role models for this important message: Know and believe in yourself.
What is it that keeps people stuck in old ways of being, believing, and behaving; even when they think they know that other possibilities are out there and they feel they should make a change? In a conversation with David Young last fall I had the opportunity to delve deeper into the distinction between fear and vulnerability when he said, “I am a man and I don’t think so much about vulnerability, I think about risk.”
Actual fear is an outside factor where our physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual safety is being threatened versus inside fear or the feeling of vulnerability. However, because of our wonderful limbic system (our body’s survival mechanism) both fears feel the same in our bodies. The positive side of vulnerability is the novelty of meeting some part of yourself that is new or that you are rediscovering and the unlimited opportunities which are available with this new way of seeing and being in the world. Do you remember hearing, Feel the fear and do it anyway[1]? This is a very good motivating statement and with the horses help I have been able to coach people on the differences between these two types of fear.
I recently worked with a client and a herd of 3 horses (a gelding and 2 mares) where this concept came to life for her and for the other group members. One of the horses, the gelding, began engaging with her even before she entered the arena. We were discussing what she called “the power of fear” and after scanning her body for information and finding where this fear was lodged I asked her to turn around and look at the 3 horses in the arena. The gelding had come up to the gate from a considerable distance in the back of the arena. With 3 horses loose in the arena we had the opportunity to see which horse would step forward to engage with her and perhaps give her answers to her questions in this present moment experience. She went in safely and began to use her sensing body to determine proximity and the feelings which arose with each step towards or away from the horse. Prior to going in I had given her a short description of the differences between fear, vulnerability and the action of risk and coached her on the distinctions. The client and the horse engaged in this dance of relationship for some time and I asked her to walk away to see what would happen. Previously she had stated that her biggest fear in relationship was the fear of abandonment, and that in the past she compromised her values and her beliefs to not be left and experience the emotions which might follow. She and the horse had established a limbic connection through the a concept called emotional resonance (where you feel and resonate with another being emotionally); therefore there was a possibility that this might feel just like it had in the past when she took the chance of walking away or considering a different path in a relationship with a loved one. One of the biggest benefits from experiential learning with the horses is the immediate heart felt sense of connection they can give us (one we often want to keep forever). By taking the action of walking away she felt in her body how it might be to risk this imagined abandonment once the connection had been made. He never left her side and this woman, not an experienced horse person, began to realize what the dance of relationship with another whole being could feel like. She felt the yin and yang of it, never lost her sense of self, and came out of the arena radiant and fully alive. After she came out of the experience and shared what she had felt prior to going in and what she hoped to receive from the horse, the group members gave her their perceptions of what they saw and felt watching her with the horse. They validated for her not only what she felt and experienced, but as conscious observers gave her information which was new and might prove valuable the next time she stepped into relationship with another human. My sincere wish for her is that she remembers this experience in her whole body and can reclaim her sense of self in every relationship.
The other participants wanted to learn more about this risk or yang action and I gave them a little of what I am currently teaching about this. If we only experience vulnerability without action, we may feel weak and even experience “learned helplessness”[2]. The key is to become conscious and take action or risk, a yang movement, only after we have accessed the feeling, or yin place, we are presently experiencing. If we take the risk unconsciously without an assessment of the possible consequences of this action, the likelihood of success is limited and the probability of failure, injury or even death is greater. Some people may be more apt to take the risk unconsciously while others may be immobilized and remain stuck in the same behaviors and patterns. So we must: first notice the sensation or feeling and identify the emotion; second engage in self-regulating our arousal systems so that we can be present and cognitively aware; and third become curious and take conscious thoughtful action (the risk part).
As a mentor/coach I really love assisting individuals in finding this lost part of self and to re-igniting the original blue print of their souls. Together we can explore the yin of it and with support I can help you move into the yang of it. So whether you want the opportunity to engage with the horses or wish consultation and support with me in person or by telephone, consider giving yourself this gift for the New Year.
[1] “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers
[2] “Learned Helplessness” a concept attributed to the work of Hans Seligman
2010 EVENTS CALENDAR
February 6, 2010 by Kathleen
2010 Events Calendar
Working Calendar for 2010 Events, Workshops and Training Programs: Look under Events for full descriptions. New Information will be added monthly.
February 9-13 Sacred Pause Retreat- Tubac, Arizona
February 19-21: Feb 26-28 FEEL Program (www.horsespiritconnections.com) in Toronto, Canada TRAINING PROGRAM
March 12-14 Equine Alchemy presents EFL MasterMind Course, Wellington, FL
http://www.equinealchemy.com/EFL_MM/
May 3-9 HEAL Training Program Week One/Leigh Shambo (www.humanequinealliance.org) in Chehalis,WA TRAINING PROGRAM
May 22-25 Sacred Space: The Zone of Intuitive Knowing (www.ahho.me) in Sussex, United Kingdom
June 7-11 AHHO Training Program in Sussex, United Kingdom www.ahho.me)
June 18-20 Germany workshop/Eva Balzer (www.evabalzar.de)
July 9-11 FEEL TRAINING in Toronto, Canada (www.horsespiritconnection.com)
July 23-25 Energy and Grace, 6th Year! (www.humanequinealliance.org) Washington State
August 9-13 Advanced Workshop with Eve B.Lee at Loghaven, Chicago, IL (www.equinemagic.com)
August 14,15- Transitions: Moving Beyond Limiting Belifefs in Parker, Colorado with Donna Martino, Parker, Colorado Tel: 303-880-7144 www.spiritoflifeLLC.com Contact for more information
September 5-11 AHHO EFL Training in Sussex, United Kingdom/Suntui (www.ahho.me)
September13-18 Personal Mastery: The Missing Piece, Kathleen with Suntui and Flo Magdalena (www.soulsupportsystems.org) Sussex, United Kingdom
September 24-26 Charting Your Own Course in Toronto, Canada/Wendy Golding( www.horsespiritconnections.com)
October 3-7, 2010 HEAL Group Training Program, Washington State www.humanequinealliance.org
October 11-17 HEAL FacilitatorTraining Program Week Two/Leigh Shambo Washington State (www.horsehumanequinealliance.org)
October 25-30 Collaborative Partnership Training Program with Eve B. Lee(www.equinemagic.com) Chicago, IL
SACRED SPACE: THE ZONE OF INTUITIVE KNOWING, Sussex , UK May 22-25,2010
November 30, 2009 by Kathleen
SACRED SPACE: THE ZONE OF INTUITIVE KNOWING
East Sussex, United Kingdom
Exploring the Scientific, Psychological and Spiritual Dimensions of Equine Facilitated Learning and Psychotherapy
Sunday 22nd – Tuesday 25th May 2010
COST: £895
Led By Kathleen Barry Ingram MA co-creator of The Epona Approach ™
This workshop is for people interested in the subtle energetic connections between all of life. We exist interdependently in relationship with all in the invisible web of the quantum field. Horses, as consummate teachers, can show us how to re-discover, connect and develop our “knowing” selves. The Zone of Intuitive “Knowing” comes directly from the ‘brain in the gut’ and the ‘brain in the heart’, and informs and integrates this “knowing” with our neocortex, thus allowing for conscious choices in the present moment. This workshop includes experiential exercises with the horses that engage our innate abilities to use these organs of perception. We can choose to enter the Zone of Intuitive “Knowing” through direction from these powerful centers of intelligence in concert with the intelligence centered in the brain. When fully grounded we are able to extend our self-awareness into all aspects of daily life and live authentically each moment with tangible success.
Suitable for business and life coaches, counselors, psychotherapists, healing therapists (any discipline), teachers, business managers, trainers and consultants, all horse professionals or anyone interested in human growth and development. This is a non riding workshop. (This workshop can be used as a qualifying workshop for approved EAP/FEAL Qualification Training)
CONTACT: Suntui www.authentichorsehuman.org
COST: £895
Great Cansiron Farm House, Cansiron Lane, Hartfield, East Sussex, TN7 4LD
Tel: +44 1342 850330
Skype: suntui1
E-mail: suntui@me.com
Florida Continuing Education, March 2009
April 14, 2009 by Kathleen
Ruth leading Pinor
Refinement of Your Practice
Lisa Murrell, Johanna Husta and the Equine Alchemy herd, www.equinealchemy.com hosted Kathleen for 2 days of continuing education for practioners of equine facilitated learning. Working with Lisa and Johanna and their fabulous herd of horses was so fulfilling for everyone. Among some of the topics discussed and the highlights were recent research on the 3 brain theory of learning; limbic revision and regulation; the differences and comparisons of Equine Facilitated Learning, Equine Psychotherapy, and Equine Assisted Coaching; working consensually with the horses online; leading exercises to determine primary communication styles; and facilitator’s experinces and the lessons they have received from their individual work with horses. Johanna Husta, jhusta@hotmail.com, demonstrated useful horse exercises which are very congruent with EFL work. Attending were Diane Molony from Florida dwmolony@aol.com; Laurel Boyer from Colorado www.gypsywindranch.com; Helene Bernier & Sylvain Poirer from Quebec www.ecuriesnamaste.com; Ruth LeCocq from Jersey,UK www.equustoo.com and Giselle Faubel from Florida www.drfaubel.com
Lisa, Helene & Simon
Lisa &Tibor
Simon, Johanna & Sylvain Online Exercise
Diane & Simon
Sylvain so Happy
Laurel leading Pinor
Equine Facilitated Learning, Psychotherapy, & Coaching: A Comparison
March 1, 2009 by Kathleen
EQUINE FACILITATED LEARNING, PSYCHOTHERAPY, COACHING: A COMPARISON
The field of Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL) has undergone a lot of changes in the recent years. There has been quite a controversy about how to name what we, who co-facilitate with horses in advanced personal development work, actually call ourselves and how we identify what we are doing. The Epona Approach™ and the work I am currently engaged in with Leigh Shambo at Human Equine Alliances for Learning (HEAL) both agree that the horses are our full partners in this endeavor. Their innate knowledge, wisdom, and accurate intuition guide us as human facilitators when we follow their lead and learn from these consummate teachers. Some practitioners/facilitators identify themselves as practicing Equine Experiential Learning (EEL); Equine Facilitated Experiential Learning (EFEL); Facilitated Equine Experiential Learning (FEEL); Equine Facilitated Psychotherapy (EFP) Equine Therapeutic Learning (ETL); Equine Assisted Coaching (EAC), however I refer to what I practice as Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL). The following information is presented to shed some light on the various ways of working, and on what I feel are some of the most important principles and guidelines to follow as we continue this important partnership with the horse.
Psychotherapy Coaching
• Therapy is about uncovering & More about Discovering
Recovering
• Based on the Medical Model Not about disease but about
of dis-ease and diagnosis optimum health
• Examining the past Being in the present
• Looking to therapist for solutions Mutual examination
for emotional concerns
• Helping clients move from a state Assisting people who are highly
of dysfunction to one of being functional but may not be achieving
functional their full personal or professional
potential
• More of a doctor/patient relationship Partnering with clients in a creative
process
Equine Facilitated Learning and the lessons we acquire from interactions with the horses is based on mutual understanding and respect. As professionals in this field we do need to be aware of the clients’ projections and transference involving ourselves and the horses, and our own counter-transference issues. Much of the information in the coaching profession as well as experiential learning has come from traditional psychotherapeutic principles and dynamics.
The pioneering work of Adler and Jung is noted by Patrick Williams, a psychologist for 28 years who moved into the coaching profession and in 1990 helped in the formation of the International Coaching Federation, (ICF). Williams says: “Adler and Jung saw individuals as the creators and artists of their lives and frequently involved their clients in goal setting, life planning, and inventing their future —- all tenets in today’s coaching.” He also points to Carl Rogers work with client-centered therapy as a “significant precursor to coaching”. (Williams, “Counseling Today” December, 2008)
Edward Colozzi, a career development expert and author of the book Creating Careers with Confidence says; “Although coaching has its limitations, its practice harkens back to the times in many cultures when spiritual leaders, shamans, mentors or others in the community offered informational guidance. It is, in a way, a back-to-the-future paradigm shift. A life coach is a mentor—a person who joins us on a journey. Many people have performed that role in the past. But in a society such as ours that starts to have rules and regulations—that may be where counseling was born. Now, perhaps, we are seeing a return to something more basic.” (Colozzi, “Counseling Today” December,2008)
Irvin Yalom, MD, considered by many as the “Father of Group Therapy”, says that with the current crisis in psychotherapy, there will not be enough trained individuals to do the work. “Psychiatry is on the verge of abandoning the field of psychotherapy. Young psychiatrists are forced to specialize in psychopharmacology because third party payers now reimburse for psychotherapy only if it is delivered by low fee (in other words, minimally) trained practitioners.” Even though Yalom is concerned about the current state of affairs, he is confident that a “cohort of therapists coming from a variety of educational disciplines will continue to pursue rigorous post graduate training.
Equine Facilitated Learning can fill some of what is missing in the health care system . Individuals seeking change from old dysfunctional patterns of behavior and automatic responses based on unconscious motivations can find help and assistance through the Way of The Horse. Yalom says, “At its very core, the flow of therapy should be spontaneous, forever following unanticipated river beds” Therapy following a managed care protocol does not allow for spontaneity and reflection. The horses, as our teachers, and co-facilitators demand that we “go with the flow” and therefore, keep the interaction dynamic and in the present moment.
Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy, an area I studied extensively in post graduate work with one of my mentors, Dr Paul Rosenberg, works with the unconscious forces (the dynamics) of inner conflict by holding a supportive container for clients to experience in the present moment emotions and memories from the past. Much of the material and teaching I developed for educating students of EFL came from the theories behind this approach and the clinical experience of my clients. What I got to see for myself as I engaged more with the horses was that this dynamic was present in many of the sessions I conducted with a client and a horse. The challenge was how to develop a process in experiential learning that held the container present in a psychotherapeutic session. The container suggested in the phrase I call holding the sacred space of possibility was essential in establishing safety for both the client and the horse. Without suspension of judgment and personal desire for an expected outcome, a reflective round pen and any active or passive engagement with the horse becomes more of repeat of old behaviors and attitudes. “I am the expert and thus you and the horse should do this my way.” The facilitator’s understanding of their own unconscious forces or dynamics underlying their thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors is absolutely necessary for the client and the horse to have a truly creative and innovative equine experience. The Johari Window, the Karpman Trauma/Drama triangle and the thorough study of projection, transference, introjection and countertransference are ways to enhance and support students participating in an EFL training program. If the student is interested, engaged and encouraged to explore these dynamics themselves, they will be far ahead of many who practice equine facilitated learning, equine experiential learning, psychotherapy and/or coaching.
My own personal opinion around the discussion and controversy of whether to use the designation of equine facilitated learning, equine facilitated psychotherapy or equine assisted coaching when describing your practice is simply this, “Know thyself”. I believe if you know your personal style, understand your thought processes and emotions, and are actively and enthusiastically engaged in a relationship with any sentient being, the likelihood of a mutual and successful partnership is possible. The excellent facilitator is a mentor, a truth seeker, a challenger, and most of all someone who guides each person towards personal accountability, integrity, ease, and fulfillment.
Our teachers, mentors, friends and co-facilitators, the horses say “Thanks for listening”.
Horse Wisdom: photo by Larney Otis
Kathleen Barry Ingram, MA
Excerpt from “Unexpected Grace: How Horses Changed my Life”
Copyright, 2009