Relationship in Motion (RIM)
December 11, 2011 by Kathleen
2011 has sure been an eventful year with many challenges and opportunities for all of us. If you are like me, you are ready to see what 2012 is all about! I see this as a time of expanded conscious awareness for all of us. Certainly, my work with the horses all over the world supports this. Recently I was asked, “What do you see and feel is the common denominator with horses and people in your travels?” As always, my answer was “horses are helping us to wake up.”
My colleagues and I have been working on a concept which we call Relationship in Motion or RIM. Over the years in my work in Equine Facilitated Learning, as well as work with families and corporations, I have noticed that much of a relationship is lost or put aside when a goal, deadline, or time constraint is present. In EFL I notice that people may love connecting with the horses on the ground through grooming, reflective round pen work (one in which there is no goal but to be in relationship), or just standing and being with the herd in the field.
However, because we are human, and many times goal oriented and constrained by time limits, I see people dropping the feeling of connection to get “the job done.” RIM is a process we are developing that assists the person to be in relationship- or limbic connection- with the horse and get motion or movement with collaboration. This may seem simple but those of us working with horses, children, spouses or employees know this is not always the case. What parent hasn’t temporarily “lost it” when asking their child for the 100th time to clean up their room? When you are going to get your horse for an activity with a client, do you remember to tell them what you would like?
We know that maintaining a limbic connection and asking for movement involves the heart, intention from the brain, and pressure (or direction) from the belly or power center of the body. When one is predominant (or lost) the horse will often stand stock still or be overcome with confusion. Active round pen work, as opposed to the traditional lunging the horse, can offer the opportunity to stay in connection and get movement and collaboration. What I have seen more often, however, is that people get into the goal of the activity and the horse – who has learned to “obey” the signals- performs the activities mindlessly but is disconnected. This disconnect, of course, will often translate into peoples’ lives outside the round pen. I have seen many times the person who wants to stay in their heart be unable to get any kind of forward movement.
As a facilitator of EFL I want the client and the horse to have the best possible experience – an experience which will help the client’s body to remember what it feels like in connection and with movement. I recall a man who experienced post traumatic stress disorder and had limited his life to the degree that even benign opportunities for change frightened him and kept him isolated and alone. We had introduced the concept of emotions as information, and especially the differentiation of fear versus vulnerability. It was his turn to get the horse (with some assistance from the equine professional) and see if he could have an experience of movement in the round pen. At the beginning of the workshop he had told part of his story and informed us that he was terrified of horses. By the time we got to this activity he had been with the horse in a safe place and was open to the challenge of taking the horse for a walk. The facilitator let this man take the time to connect with the horse, by putting on her halter and beginning the walk to the round pen. By the time the man and horse entered the round pen so much had happened within the man that he wanted to just be with the horse. Was this a success? You bet it was.
When he came out of the experience and shared with the group he said, “Kathleen when you first introduced the difference between fear (outright physical or emotional threat) and vulnerability (inside change or opportunity), I was not sure I would be able to tell the difference. I had spent so many years reacting to the feeling of fear that I had not allowed myself any opportunities for change.” When asked for one word at the end of the workshop to sum up his experience with the horse, his word was “Courage.” The smile on his face when he faced the challenge of connection and movement with the horse is one that will remain with me for a long time.
Another example of Relationship in Motion (RIM) involved a horse trainer and a reluctant horse. The woman went to get the horse and, after checking in with her body, got the message to go slowly. Later that message would have a lot of significance for her in her personal life. As we watched the exchange between woman and horse we noticed how slowly and deliberately she took each step. Now this woman is a horse trainer so she certainly knows how to get a horse to move. However, she took the time to listen to herself – and what the horse needed – to get to the round pen. I have to admit I had to let go of my idea of what might be happening to support what was happening between them. It took her 40 minutes step by step.
When she got to the round pen I asked her what she wanted to do. Her response was priceless, “I told him the goal was to walk to the round pen and that I would take the time he needed to do this. Once that happened I learned what I needed from the experience.” This horse had a problem with people pushing him beyond his limits. The trainer could feel in her body that the opportunity for him to create a new memory of pressure and release was more important than any goal. As a goal oriented person, this lesson translated to her life and allowed her to feel what it would be like to have forward movement and to maintain connection with herself and loved ones.
We have had many opportunities to see and observe this connection and movement, or Relationship in Motion, with people and horses. It is the “dance of relationship” with collaboration, full intention and respect that the body remembers when working with horses or people the next time a challenge and opportunity is presented.
I have mentioned just two examples of the work with horses and people from this year. I have traveled over the world this year and seen many more. For this opportunity, I would like to thank the horses and my colleagues; Wendy and Andre at Horse Spirit Connections in Canada (www.HorseSpiritConnections.com); Sun Tui and her herd in England (www.ifeal.me); Eva Balzer and her herd in Germany (www.Zentaura.de); Drea Bowen in Washington state at the Equine Empowerment Center (drea.b.bowen@gmail.com); Lisa Murrell in New York (www.EquineAlchemy.com); Susan Castaneda in New Mexico (www.EquineAlchemy-Southwest.com); and Eve Lee and her horses at Loghaven in Illinois (www.EquineMagic.com).
Many Blessings,
Kathleen
The Change EFL Can Bring to the Horse Co-facilitator – By Beth Goodwin
December 11, 2011 by Kathleen
How the Horse’s Life is Enhanced and Benefited
Beth Goodwin
Over the past 12 months as I have begun my journey as an EFL Facilitator I have been amazed at the positive changes I have seen in my own mare and the horses who have co facilitated sessions for my clients who choose to work with their own horses.
One of the first sessions I facilitated was for a woman with several horses. She asked that I work with her and one of her geldings. However, when I turned up to her property it was very evident that another gelding wanted to work with her. While this may be no surprise to many of us in this field, it came as a complete surprise to his owner. She reported that she felt this horse didn’t like her – she had had him since he was a foal, and he always walked away from her in the paddock, especially when she had a halter and a lead rope in her hand. She retired him from his dressage career early as she felt he didn’t like her or the work she was asking him to do. His owner reported, “What I found very surprising was that the horse I least expected to want to participate made it quite clear he wanted to be very much part of this. He was the horse who wanted to help me the most and this stunned me.” He was right there beside his owner wanting a piece of the action. After the session the owner reported how much love she felt had come to her from the horse during her session. What is really amazing to me is this “love story” has continued ever since, even 12 months down the track his owner still reports how he is there at the gate to meet her, and is happy to be caught.
Another interesting case was with a warm blood mare and her owner. Her owner felt she had reached a bit of a plateau with her mare in their dressage work. There were also other things going on between them. When I made contact with the client a few days after the EFL session, she reported a real change in her mare and the previous relationship. She said she didn’t feel like she had to baby the mare anymore (she bred her) and that she had had some “exceptional “rides on this mare. She was really pleased with the change and it was way beyond what she had expected.
A teenage girl asked me to facilitate a session between her and her pony. She wanted to have a better connection with her pony among other things. Her Arab cross pony, while reasonably sensible, could be quite challenging for her. When I made contact with her a couple of days after the session she reported how “We had a lovely beach ride today and he seems very relaxed and settled around me, even when there were some dramas this afternoon”. Then a day later, “He was even more great today after a ride through the forestry; prancing along at a fast walk with his ears forward the entire time!”
The owner of a very upstanding and talented mare asked me to facilitate a session for them both. By now word was getting out that the EFL work was really benefitting the horses and the relationship between the owner and their horse. This horse had been chased by a previous owner, with a flag, into a wire fence. She was very weary of people and finding it hard to trust her present owner. She could not be paddocked with other horses as she hid behind them and was almost impossible to catch. At the beginning of the session this mare looked dissociative. During the session she slowly softened like cheese melting – kept her form but soft around the edges. On following up with the owner a few days later she reported a significant change in the mare. She felt both she and the mare had changed and they had a much more trusting and positive relationship. Several weeks later, the owner reported even more significant changes in her mare. She is now in a paddock with the rest of the herd and very happy to be caught. She can now be floated places as she stays in the float and doesn’t rush out the minute her chest touches the breast bar. The owner reported how she loads her and stands with her and “tells her stories”. She feels the mare listens and then continues to stand there after the story is complete. The owner also has ridden her bare back and jumped her – both for the first time. The owner reported how she had never jumped in her life before but trusted the mare to show her how. She said she was feeling really positive in herself and that she and the mare were helping each other. The day I saw the mare, several weeks after her session, she was happily eating hay with her paddock mates, looking very content with herself with a lovely clear and sparkling eye.
I have also noticed changes in my own mare after she has co facilitated a session with a client. She always seems very proud of herself and she glows with health for days after wards. On one particular occasion her change was really marked. She had worked with a client with cancer. After the session my mare looked like she had just had a body work session – her normally dippy back had come up and she looked like I had just washed and polished her with some show sheen. I took a photo of her and sent it to friends. They found it hard to believe she was the same horse. This change in her lasted for several weeks. I wondered who was actually healing who?
A change like this was also reported by another client who worked with her own 26 year old gelding in an EFL session. A few days after the session she commented how he seemed so much more alert and interested in what was going on around him. Several weeks after the session she said this change had endured.
However by far the most remarkable change in a horse I have co facilitated a session with has been with an 8 year old Hanoverian gelding. He began an early career in dressage with a previous owner and was starting to show intermittent lameness by the age of 5. His present owner was given him as a case study project for her equine sports massage practice. He was progressing nicely. However New Years Eve 2010, he got a fright in the night, and ran into a wire fence. He was found in the morning and by this time he was a mess, with lacerations and cuts all over his body. He was so bad the vet suggested euthanasia. However the owner felt she needed to give the horse a chance. At the time of the EFL session it had been 7 months since his accident. While his body had healed, his mind had not been so fortunate. He had been hyper alert ever since the night of his accident. Even the slightest movement around him and his head would go up rigid and he would take off around his paddock. Anything out of the ordinary upset him. He also found it very hard to be separated from his paddock mate.
He co facilitated two EFL sessions in the one day – one with his owner and one with someone else. In both sessions he found a “happy place”. While he was holding space for the clients to work, it also seemed like they were holding a space for him to work. Several times during the sessions the other horses in paddocks nearby would start running around but this horse just stayed totally focused on the client while in a really relaxed and “zoned” posture. His owner reported that this was really unusual for him since his accident – in fact unheard of. What is even more astounding is that he has maintained this chilled out demeanour ever since the day of his sessions. He is now able to be paddocked on his own, if required, without any fuss. He happily carries on eating while chaos is happening around him. He is really focused on his work and is not distracted by what is going on in his environment. When his owner takes him for a walk in the forest, he is totally focused on her and not wanting to return to his paddock mates as he had done in the past. His owner reports that he is “no longer spooky and lacking in confidence but rather confident and inquisitive”. She can’t get over “how mellow he has become”.
When I started out on my journey with EFL someone asked me who my primary target market was. I replied without thinking about it too much, that it was helping people to have a better relationship with their horses. At the time I wondered where this had come from in the recesses of my mind, but what had me wondering even more was how this was going to be achieved. In my training to that point, I had not seen any really positive effects on the horse co-facilitators. While they had not necessarily been adversely affected there didn’t seem to be any really positive effects either. I could see how if the owners could be more “in their bodies”, congruent and authentic then they would be easier to be around for both other people and horses. I never really expected to see the extraordinary changes clients have experienced both in themselves and in their horses. As one client commented, “equine facilitated learning is an amazing experience and I believe that we are only just scratching the surface of its real potential for humans and horses.”
Beth Godwin
How Horses Help Us To KNOW Ourselves
December 8, 2011 by Kathleen
How Horses Help Us To KNOW Ourselves
Efficacy of EFL supported by the latest brain research by Kathleen Barry Ingram
Co-founder of The Epona Approach
Describing the work with horses as co-facilitators in human development is not an easy task. Simply stated the horses really do help us to know ourselves.
I can’t tell you how often I have witnessed a client coming out of a quiet session with a horse and heard them say: “It was magic! I felt like myself for the first time. My heart just opened and these tears came flowing out—but they felt free, open —you know not jammed up in my throat”. I could go on and on about what people felt in the presence of the horse and what other people witnessed, but I think you get the point. Guess what, it is not magic but is a process scientists now can actually name which happens only in relationship. What the client and others felt, saw, and experienced is the limbic connection of two beings. Relationship does affect the revision of these pathways in the brain through the processes of limbic resonance, limbic regulation and limbic revision or restructuring.
The book, A General Theory of Love is an excellent source for much of the research on this subject. Some of the information contained in this book about how a therapist’s relationship with a client is the determining factor in long term healing; this can be applied to how and why equine facilitated learning works.
[P. 192] “A General Theory of Love
Thomas Lewis, M.D., Fari Amini, M.D., Richard Lannon, M.D.
Because our minds seek one another through limbic resonance, because our physiological rhythms answer to the call of limbic regulation, because we change each others’ brains through limbic revision—what we do inside relationships matters more than any other aspect of human life.
- 1. “The first part of emotional healing is being limbically known [limbic resonance]—–having someone with a keen ear catch your melodic essence…………..a precise seer’s light can still split the night, illuminate treasures long lost, and dissolve many fearsome figures into shadows and dust. (pg. 170) “
Limbic regulation happens through relationship. “But people do not learn emotional modulation as they do geometry or the names of state capitals. These concepts are stored in the neocortical brain. People and animals absorb the skill from living in the presence of an adept external modulator [the horses with congruent and authentic facilitators], and they learn it implicitly.”[1]
Research on how we learn and how much we retain supports what the horses have been teaching us all along. Implicit Knowing which comes from actual experience supports experiential learning, in this case the work with horses. Explicit knowledge, while necessary and important, is not experienced directly but rather through study, education and the experiences of others.
I can’t begin to tell you how passionate I have become about some of the newest brain and body research and information coming from very reliable and dedicated scientists and clinicians. Most of my professional life, I have practiced as a clinician whether I am conducting a session as a psychotherapist, coach, mentor or teacher. The many “miracles” I have been a part of fills me with awe and hope for the ability of people to learn new things, change, and have better lives. The work that I do with the horses has transferred to everything I do and teach since these brilliant beings are so good at helping people come back to their true selves.
The 3 brain theory: Brain in the head; brain in the heart; and brain in the gut supports the work with horses who have a much larger heart field and gut than humans. In fact, too much thinking and remembering can take us out of the moment without enough brain activity for feeling and experiencing. We now know that intelligence is distributed throughout the body. When you have a direct experience it does not go directly to the brain in the head. The first place it goes is to the neurological networks of the intestinal tract (brain in the gut) and the heart (brain in the heart). If we do not feel our values and or goals, we cannot live them. The brain in the heart actually seeks out new experiences and is open to new possibilities which will intuitively matter to you in your life and work. The brain in your gut “reads” what others feel and measures the coherence and congruence of the other’s feeling state and checks it against its own inner state of coherent values, beliefs, and passions. This is why horses, as prey animals, are so good at measuring the inner state of people, checking them out for any incongruence, and responding from their guts and hearts and not from the brain in the head where language can distort and deny what is actually happening.
The book, The Brain That Changes Itself [2] has some of the best information on the neuroplasticity of the brain. Neuroplasticity of the brain is the term used to describe the capacity of our brain for creation of new neural connections and for growing new neurons in response to experience. In the process of experiential learning with the horses, the experience itself, which is very new for most people, i.e., being with a horse without doing anything can actually assist the client in forming and developing new neural connections. I often give a simple explanation like this: The horses help the humans to see, feel, and believe in the possibility that the old super highway way of being and responding to a familiar person, stimulus, thought or action can be replaced by a new path—much like the road less traveled.
In Daniel Siegel’s latest book, Mindsight, he eloquently and factually supports the efficacy of experience in relationship to help people grow and change. He believes that most people come into the world with the brain potential to develop mindsight, but the neural circuits that underlie it need experiences to develop properly[3]. He describes mindsight as our seventh sense and tells a story of a ninety-two year old man who was able to overcome a painful childhood to emerge as what he calls a mindsight maven. Siegel believes, as do I, that it is never to late to stimulate the growth of neural fibers that enable mindsight to flourish. His concept of “feeling felt” is what most people and horses desire to live exciting and meaningful lives.
In equine facilitated learning this sense of feeling felt is necessary whether we are working on the ground or riding the horse. The sense of feel that many individuals describe in natural horsemanship is this implicit way of knowing another being. The explicit learning and knowledge we receive from our teachers and the horses, although very necessary, is not enough to really make the changes our clients and students are seeking.
Equine facilitated learning can and does transform the client’s limbic brain which takes much more repetition than does the “quick fix” of most brief therapies which address only the neocortical brain. The neocortical brain can rapidly change didactic information but without the whole body, the brain in the heart and the gut; only ones’ thoughts and information change. This, in my opinion, is why so many people “understand” why they might do “such and such” differently and still go about life unconsciously without full engagement and lasting results. When all 3 brains are in agreement and the person is living from a conscious place, life becomes a symphony with each day bringing new challenges, joys and sorrows.
The horses and good facilitators both with listening hearts can really help people be open to the possibilities of change and with limbic revision guide them towards the probability of a new life. One of the consistent ways of doing this is what I call holding the sacred space of possibility. This is a space, nestled between two heart beats, where two beings breathing together co-create the possibility for lasting and sustainable change.
Kathleen Barry Ingram, MA
© June 2011
Kathleen continues to teach internationally in training programs in the UK, Canada and the United States.
For more information on Kathleen and her mentorship programs contact her at www.sacredplaceofpossibility.com
[1] “General Theory of Love” Lewis, Amini and Lannon
[2] “The Brain that Changes Itself” Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontier of Brain Science by Norman Doidge, M.D.
[3] “Mindsight” The New Science of Personal Transformation by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
CONSCIOUS GENERATIVITY
June 13, 2011 by Kathleen
Recently a good friend, Eve Lee, and I were sitting on her porch overlooking a pond where geese, ducks, and a family of sand hill cranes called home.In the nearby arena her three geldings waited for us to do “our work.”It was a beautiful spring morning with steam rising from the river beyond; an idyllic mid-west morning with a good friend and a great cup of coffee.
Our musings turned towards our life’s work and the impact we both felt we still wanted to make on the world.By previous generations’ standards we “should” be talking about retirement, but retiring from what?Subsequently, I have spent the last couple of weeks playing with words and ideas to describe how I want to live my life and inspire others.
Inpondering, I recalled Erik Erikson’s 8 stages of life concept.Erikson (1902-1994) believed that culture has a massive influence on behavior and that more emphasis should be placed on the external world.His teaching was contrary to the beliefs held by the Freudians of his time.Erikson felt that the course of development is determined by the body (genetic biological programming), the mind (psychological), and the culture (ethos) of the time.Interestingly, Erikson based his premise partly on his studies with the Sioux Indians.
When Googling his name I found that Erikson’s 7th stage – which he describes as “Middle Adulthood” (35 to 65) – is when we can be in the state of Generativity, or self-absorption and stagnation.This stage of generativity applies the basic human strengths of productivity and care. He believed that this stage, where an individual has the option of caring for others and being productive, is a necessary step in development; without this people may fall into a place of self-absorption and stagnation.
The last, or 8th stage (65 to death), he describes as Integrity or despair.The basic strengths of Wisdom can be felt when we can look back on our lives with contentment and know that we have made a contribution. We have gained wisdom and compassion through caring for others; committing to a cause or belief greater than our individual egos, and inspiring future generations. Since most of us do not have personal role models in continuing beyond 65 years of age, I believe that our opportunity is to combine the Generativity of the Middle stage with the Wisdom of the of Late stage,thus my concept of Conscious Generativity.I also realized that, although, the discussion was centered on how Eve and I want to live, teach, and inspire others, this concept of Conscious Gernerativity applies to many of the people I engage with on a daily basis.
For example, in the late 80′s and early 90′s IBM was laying off workers who once thought they would stay with IBM until “full retirement” at age 65.Many of the people were confused, scared and totally unprepared for a new career.An outplacement firm hired me to provide a series of inspirational talks designed to motivate and encourage a revised frame of reference for the former employees’ current situations.One of the talks I gave was called, “There are no more Gold Watches.” Some received the news of early retirement with anger and resentment feeling they had been “done wrong”.However, a few people took this as an opportunity to create and design a new life.Since the IBM lay offs I have counseled, coached, mentored, and taught these people, the ones who are interested in seeking a better way to live and to reach out to others.
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| Sunshine |
The field of Equine Facilitated Learning was not even practiced consciously until the early 90′s.We did not even have a name for it then, but trust me the horses were doing the work and just waiting for us to listen (See “Unexpected Grace”) As I describe in “Unexpected Grace,” it was the horses that really taught me how to “hold the Sacred Space of Possibility” for people and for our animal friends.
One would have to be living under a rock today to not be affected by the confusion, fear, and uncertainty generated by the recent economic, political, and environmental events of the last couple of years.Since most of us are still in the process of Generativity (creating, providing and generating), it is more important now than ever for each of us discover our life’s work.When I talk about moving from possibility to probability—it is about living bigger from the heart.So please join me in this concept of Conscious Generativity and challenge others to do the same. As the Hopi elders teach, “We are the Ones We Have Been Waiting for.”
Kathleen Barry Ingram, MA
© June, 2011
FORREST GUMP IS MY ROLE MODEL
April 13, 2010 by Kathleen
It’s early on Easter morning, April 4, 2010, and I woke up thinking about life and all of the challenges we are facing with the global economic crisis, environmental changes, poverty, war, competition for limited resources, and just, well, all of it! I am used to asking for answers to these kinds of unanswerable questions by paying attention to what floats through my mind in the early hours before my rational mind takes over. What a surprise to see an image of Forrest Gump running in the desert. It came to me then that I want to be more like Forrest and remember what life was like in the innocence of youth before my ego and my rational mind hijacked my spirit and my soul.
Some notable quotes from my new role model, Forrest, might just enhance my point:
Forrest Gump: My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get.”
Mrs. Gump: You have to do the best with what God gave you.
Forrest Gump: Mama says they was magic shoes. They could take me anywhere.
Forrest Gump: Now you wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but I could run like the wind blows. From that day on, if I was ever going somewhere, I was running!
Forrest Gump: When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know, I went.
Elderly Southern Woman on Park Bench: And so, you just ran?
Forrest Gump: Yeah.
Forrest Gump: My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
Jenny Curran: Were you scared in Vietnam?
Forrest Gump: Yes. Well, I don’t know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out… and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water… like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It’s so beautiful.
Jenny Curran: I wish I could’ve been there with you.
Forrest Gump: You were.
Forrest Gump: Mama always had a way of explaining things so I could understand them.
Forrest Gump: What’s my destiny, Mama?
Mrs. Gump: You’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself.
Well, I wish I could be more like Forrest, and sometimes I can feel his innocence and awe for life without all of the shouldas and ought- tos coming in to disturb my present moment. I know with humility and extreme gratitude that my teachers, the horses, my dog Grace, and all of the animals and nature are really speaking to me, if I would only listen! Remember how Forrest ended up being in a lot of places just because he showed up?
Thinking about all of this brought me back to the work of Anthropologist E. Richard Sorenson and his research on what he calls preconquest, characteristics of the minds of indigenous peoples, versus postconquest typified by modern rationalism and the consciousness that develops from these different worldviews. His research is extensive and interesting as an understanding about what happens when the logical, rational Western mind overtakes the liminal awareness of the indigenous tribes and the animal kingdom. Preconquest consciousness is rooted in feeling and sensory awareness. Like our horse teachers, individuals in such societies are highly sensitive to changes in muscle tension in others indicating shifts in mood. If others feel good then you feel good; if others feel bad then you feel bad. Sorenson calls this “socio-sensual” awareness.
I believe that many of us are throwbacks to this type of consciousness and that our sensitivities and “sixth sense” are a result of us recovering our true natures. We feel what is not right but often feel helpless to change the situation. In my 30 years of experience as a therapist, I encountered many sensitive individuals who had been broken by the system or had used drugs and other means to dull their senses to survive in this paradigm. When individuals who operate from an epistemology of feeling encounter reason, they will automatically be overshadowed by reason. Individuals operating from a feeling perspective will be abused or silenced by having their experiences matched against the rigorous logic of rational analysis. Feeling individuals feel invalidated, and innate understanding is blocked by “truth.” The question is “What is “truth”? Our opportunity is to be able to integrate our understanding based on scientific knowledge and mystical wisdom and to create a new paradigm which is inclusive. Clear reason is rooted in the wisdom of the body through feeling which is certainly something the horses demonstrate for us.
This is a lot to digest, especially on a warm Sunday morning in Tucson, Arizona. However, I believe so many of us are interested in horses and other forms of animal assisted therapy for just some of the reasons stated by Sorensen’s work with the indigenous tribes of New Guinea. We need and are looking for this type of consciousness, awareness, mindfulness, and sensibility; and I believe working with the horses is one of the ways to be in this state of grace and openness. I especially like Sorensen’s observations that preconquest groups are both individualist and collective. When we look and observe the horses in their natural settings, we see this behavior and way of being all of the time. This consensual type of leadership allows for individual creativity and “socio-sensual” awareness when the motivation for individual well-being is integrated with the well-being of the entire community
Maybe this is an opportunity for us to learn from indigenous people, the animals, and to remember what Forrest Gump had to say. So thank you, Forrest, for reminding me, as one of my role models, to stay in the present, enjoy this day, and be grateful for Spring!
Kathleen Barry Ingram
April 2010
THE YIN AND THE YANG OF IT
February 14, 2010 by Kathleen
THE YIN AND YANG OF IT
Really listening from a deep heart space (the Yin) is paramount when I am mentoring or coaching an individual since only real and lasting change happens in relationship. As a relationship coach I hope to offer people the possibilities to take action (the Yang) in their lives for positive and sustainable change.
In the early 90’s I was in one of the many processes in my life of reinventing myself when I started a private psychotherapy practice in Tucson after being in the corporate world at Sierra Tucson. Bernadine Johnson (now retired and very married!) and I began a series of workshops we titled, Become Your Own Role Model. We were women who had grown up in the 50’s and 60’s ourselves with very traditional female role models and found ourselves self-supporting and single without much of a role model for how to be and how to do this. The initial offering morphed into future workshops around this theme with horses as co-facilitators. The horses and most definitely the mares ended up being very good role models for this important message: Know and believe in yourself.
What is it that keeps people stuck in old ways of being, believing, and behaving; even when they think they know that other possibilities are out there and they feel they should make a change? In a conversation with David Young last fall I had the opportunity to delve deeper into the distinction between fear and vulnerability when he said, “I am a man and I don’t think so much about vulnerability, I think about risk.”
Actual fear is an outside factor where our physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual safety is being threatened versus inside fear or the feeling of vulnerability. However, because of our wonderful limbic system (our body’s survival mechanism) both fears feel the same in our bodies. The positive side of vulnerability is the novelty of meeting some part of yourself that is new or that you are rediscovering and the unlimited opportunities which are available with this new way of seeing and being in the world. Do you remember hearing, Feel the fear and do it anyway[1]? This is a very good motivating statement and with the horses help I have been able to coach people on the differences between these two types of fear.
I recently worked with a client and a herd of 3 horses (a gelding and 2 mares) where this concept came to life for her and for the other group members. One of the horses, the gelding, began engaging with her even before she entered the arena. We were discussing what she called “the power of fear” and after scanning her body for information and finding where this fear was lodged I asked her to turn around and look at the 3 horses in the arena. The gelding had come up to the gate from a considerable distance in the back of the arena. With 3 horses loose in the arena we had the opportunity to see which horse would step forward to engage with her and perhaps give her answers to her questions in this present moment experience. She went in safely and began to use her sensing body to determine proximity and the feelings which arose with each step towards or away from the horse. Prior to going in I had given her a short description of the differences between fear, vulnerability and the action of risk and coached her on the distinctions. The client and the horse engaged in this dance of relationship for some time and I asked her to walk away to see what would happen. Previously she had stated that her biggest fear in relationship was the fear of abandonment, and that in the past she compromised her values and her beliefs to not be left and experience the emotions which might follow. She and the horse had established a limbic connection through the a concept called emotional resonance (where you feel and resonate with another being emotionally); therefore there was a possibility that this might feel just like it had in the past when she took the chance of walking away or considering a different path in a relationship with a loved one. One of the biggest benefits from experiential learning with the horses is the immediate heart felt sense of connection they can give us (one we often want to keep forever). By taking the action of walking away she felt in her body how it might be to risk this imagined abandonment once the connection had been made. He never left her side and this woman, not an experienced horse person, began to realize what the dance of relationship with another whole being could feel like. She felt the yin and yang of it, never lost her sense of self, and came out of the arena radiant and fully alive. After she came out of the experience and shared what she had felt prior to going in and what she hoped to receive from the horse, the group members gave her their perceptions of what they saw and felt watching her with the horse. They validated for her not only what she felt and experienced, but as conscious observers gave her information which was new and might prove valuable the next time she stepped into relationship with another human. My sincere wish for her is that she remembers this experience in her whole body and can reclaim her sense of self in every relationship.
The other participants wanted to learn more about this risk or yang action and I gave them a little of what I am currently teaching about this. If we only experience vulnerability without action, we may feel weak and even experience “learned helplessness”[2]. The key is to become conscious and take action or risk, a yang movement, only after we have accessed the feeling, or yin place, we are presently experiencing. If we take the risk unconsciously without an assessment of the possible consequences of this action, the likelihood of success is limited and the probability of failure, injury or even death is greater. Some people may be more apt to take the risk unconsciously while others may be immobilized and remain stuck in the same behaviors and patterns. So we must: first notice the sensation or feeling and identify the emotion; second engage in self-regulating our arousal systems so that we can be present and cognitively aware; and third become curious and take conscious thoughtful action (the risk part).
As a mentor/coach I really love assisting individuals in finding this lost part of self and to re-igniting the original blue print of their souls. Together we can explore the yin of it and with support I can help you move into the yang of it. So whether you want the opportunity to engage with the horses or wish consultation and support with me in person or by telephone, consider giving yourself this gift for the New Year.
[1] “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers
[2] “Learned Helplessness” a concept attributed to the work of Hans Seligman
Efficacy of EFL Supported by Latest Brain Research
February 7, 2010 by Kathleen
Efficacy of EFL
Supported by Latest Brain Research
I can’t tell you how often I have witnessed a client coming out of a quiet session with a horse and heard them say, “It was magic! I felt like myself for the first time My heart just opened and these tears came flowing out—but they felt free, open —you know not jammed up in my throat”. I could go on and on about what people felt in the presence of the horse and what other people witnessed, but I think you get the point. Guess what, it is not magic but is a process scientists now can actually name which happens only in relationship. What the client and others felt, saw, and experienced is the limbic connection of two beings. Relationship does affect the revision of these pathways in the brain through the processes of limbic resonance, limbic regulation and limbic revision or restructuring. .
The book, A General Theory of Love is an excellent source for much of the research on this subject. Some of the information contained in this book about how a therapist’s relationship with a client is the determining factor in long term healing; this can be applied to how and why equine facilitated learning works.
Look at some of the direct quotes from this book about the limbic connection and see if you agree.“The first part of emotional healing is being limbically known [limbic resonance]—–having someone with a keen ear catch your melodic essence…a precise seer’s light can still split the night, illuminate treasures long lost, and dissolve many fearsome figures into shadows and dust. Limbic regulation happens through relationship.But people do not learn emotional modulation as they do geometry or the names of state capitals. These concepts are stored in the neocortical brain. People and animals absorb the skill from living in the presence of an adept external modulator [the horses with congruent and authentic facilitators], and they learn it implicitly.”[1]
I can’t begin to tell you how passionate I have become about some of the newest brain and body research and information coming from very reliable and dedicated scientists and clinicians. Most of my professional life, I have practiced as a clinician whether I am conducting a session as a psychotherapist, coach, mentor or teacher. The many “miracles” I have been a part of fills me with awe and hope for the ability of people to learn new things, change and have better lives. The work that I do with the horses has transferred to everything I do and teach since these brilliant beings are so good at helping people come back to their true selves. Leigh Shambo has coined the term we use consistently now called the “homerun”. A core value at HEAL is this “homerun”—the ability to immediately anchor increased connectivity human to human. This is actually what is often missed when someone has an experience with the horses and we believe that the limbic revision happens when the facilitator helps the client to fully embrace and integrate this new way of being into the human world, the “homerun”.
The book, The Brain That Changes Itself[2] has some of the best information on the neuroplasticity of the brain. Neuroplasticity of the brain is the term used to describe the capacity of our brain for creation of new neural connections and for growing new neurons in response to experience. In the process of experiential learning with the horses, the experience itself which is vey new for most people, i.e., being with a horse without doing anything can actually assist the client in forming and developing new neural connections. I often give a simple explanation like this: The horses help the humans to see, feel, and believe in the possibility that the old super highway way of being and responding to a familiar person, stimulus, thought or action can be replaced by a new path—much like the road less traveled. Most of us can visualize this and if we believe in change we can be open to this new neural connection and perhaps the old super highway—which helped people to survive but is keeping them from thriving will eventually become grass and dirt and the new path will become a newer, quicker highway to an expanded vision of life.
In Daniel Siegel’s latest book, Mindsight, he eloquently and factually supports the efficacy of experience in relationship to help people grow and change. He believes that most people come into the world with the brain potential to develop mindsight, but the neural circuits that underlie it need experiences to develop properly[3]. He describes mindsight as our seventh sense and tells a story of a ninety-two year old man who was able to overcome a painful childhood to emerge as what he calls a mindsight maven. Siegel believes, as do I, that it is never to late to stimulate of growth of neural fibers that enable mindsight to flourish. How exciting is that!
The horses and good facilitators both with listening hearts can really help people be open to the possibilities of change and with limbic revision guide them towards the probability of a new life. One of the consistent ways of doing this is what I call holding the sacred space of possibility.This is a space, nestled between two heart beats, where two beings breathing together co-create the possibility for lasting and sustainable change.
[1] “General Theory of Love” Lewis, Amini and Lannon
[2] “The Brain that Changes Itself” Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontier of Brain Science by Norman Doidge, M.D.
[3] “Mindsight” The New Science of Personal Transformation by Daniel J. Siegel, M.D.
The Way of the Horse: Kathleen’s Youtube Interview, 2009
January 4, 2010 by Kathleen
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naryzMpIg8U
Watch this interview with Kathleen produced through Horse Spirit Connections, Toronto, Canada in February 2009.
October 2009 Horses are Challenging us to WAKE UP!
October 2, 2009 by Kathleen
Newsletter article for www.horsespiritconnections.com
Horse Spirit Connections present “The Way of the Horse” and interview with Kathleen Barry Ingram, see it on You Tube!
Will Rogers said, “There is nothing better for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse”. I would take this one step further and say also the insides and the outsides of a horse since they teach us so much about being in the present moment and coming from a congruent place in our hearts. My privilege for the past 10 years has been to learn from these consummate teachers about myself, life and relationships. I began my journey with horses as therapists at Sierra Tucson, a hospital in Arizona specializing in addiction treatment, where Reed Smith hired Barbara Rector to engage equines in the treatment team for the new adolescent center in the early 1990’s. At the time I was the corporate director of marketing for this world renowned center and you can read more about this story in the article titled “Unexpected Grace”.
In 1992 I began my private practice in psychotherapy and I worked with Barbara Rector and Ann Alden, it was at one of their workshops that I met Linda Kohanov. Linda and I developed and taught the Epona Approach™ for eight years. We taught nine Epona apprenticeship classes together, many workshops, and experienced the incredible growth of this approach working with our equine colleagues. I have immense gratitude for all that Linda and I experienced, learned and developed over those years. What I lovingly call the “straw bale/ porta potty days” with our first workshops in late 1999 to Epona’s move to the magnificent facility at Apache Springs Ranch located in Gardner Canyon in Sonoita, Arizona; we met, taught and engaged with people and horses from all over the world.
In 2008 I began my current journey which has taken me to England, Ireland, Belgium, Vermont, Florida, New York State, Oregon, Washington, Colorado and Canada. One of the most consistent observations I have had is that the horses world-wide are speaking to each other. Rupert Sheldrake’s concept of the morphogenetic field; Candace Pert’s research on the molecules of emotion; and Larry Dossey’s description of the nonlocal nature of mind has demonstrated that all of the horses are communicating with each other and are taking us to new levels of personal and interpersonal awareness. They are literally helping us to wake up!
I have been conducting advanced workshops with others, some of whom were my students, and also am teaming up with people like Wendy and Andre and teaching what I call the psychological/spiritual/scientific foundations underlying equine facilitated learning in various training programs. What I have noticed as a theme is the people I am teaching and training are asking for guidance and direction for their life work based on their own intuition, self-awareness, and personal knowledge gleaned from life challenges; and turning possibilities into probabilities. Some come as students to learn this work with horses and people in advanced human development, others come for their own personal growth, and some come as a group to learn leadership from a collaborative point of view. The horses, as always, infuse people with wisdom, courage, vision and strength. As our role models, they teach us to offer support when appropriate, wait for the right moment to intervene and not take anything too personally.
One of the key components developed at Epona is something Linda created called the “Emotional Message Chart”. Horses teach us to use emotion as information and that no emotion is good or bad. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson’s ground breaking book, “Positivity”defines, records and validates her research and findings over a period of 20 years regarding the importance of balancing Positive Emotions with Negative Emotions. She has found that a ration of 3:1 positive to negative is needed to balance our emotions. She says, “Negative emotions are necessary for us to flourish, and positive emotions are by nature subtle and fleeting; the secret is not to deny their transience but to find ways to increase their quantity. Without a balance of positive to negative emotions, she has found that people get pulled into a downward spiral, their behavior becomes lifeless, rigid, and predictable and they begin to feel burdened. It is also important to note that she is not advocating suppression of any emotions but rather balancing them. All positive emotions have one thing is common, which is they are reactions to our current circumstances and are not a permanent state. Why is this so important to note and remember? Positive emotions tend to be more fleeting than negative emotions and happiness is the overall outcome of many positive emotions. She says that positive emotions are triggered by our interpretations of our current circumstances and are felt not only in the body but also tell us what we need emotionally and mentally for the future. This helps us to broaden our minds and outlook and to build what she calls the “broaden and build effect”. Positive emotions are a narrower band of feelings and not an overall judgment about life. A study cited in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in November 2008 called “Open Hearts Build Lives” looked at the effects of loving-kindness meditation on people’s resources and attributed the benefits not to learning loving-kindness meditation but to the daily increase in positive emotions that the participants got from this and they concluded that over time positive emotions literally change who we are. I often refer to the psychological concept of a “corrective emotional experience” which happens consistently in the work with horses. When the identity of the facilitator/horse is confused with past figures from childhood, the horses help correct negative thoughts and feelings about certain circumstances or memories by responding positively in the present. This experience helps the client to develop new “neural pathways” in the brain with positive emotions which eventually replace the “super highway” reaction based on past experiences.
We and the herd of horses at Horse Spirit Connection invite you to take this journey with us and begin to live from your true essence. We are often asked how does this work with horses enhance and develop us as Spiritual beings. Michael Singer’s book, “The Untethered Soul” gives one of the best definitions of Spirituality I have seen:
Spirituality begins when you decide that you’ll never stop trying. Spirituality is the commitment to go beyond, no matter what it takes. It’s an infinite journey based upon going beyond yourself every minute of the day for the rest of your life. If you’re truly going beyond you are always at your limits. You’re never back in the comfort zone. A spiritual being feels as though they are always against the edge, and they are constantly being pushed through it. (p 124) “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer
The essence of spirituality is letting go of this false sense of self, this façade, and this need to have others behave predictably. It is being in the vulnerable, unknowing part of you. It is taking the risk to Chart Your Own Course. You decide to take the journey by constantly letting go, not clinging, and being a witness to your thoughts, your feelings, and your state of mind. Living authentically from this soulful place is the way to true freedom.
What would it be like to live in the Undivided Self, to use the power of the undivided self to create, to live and to participate fully in life and to Chart Your Own Course? What would it be like to view all people and experiences as new opportunities to see with the heart and the mind?
What I have noticed with my travels is that there is always one common thread. That thread is each horse’s innate ability to take in and honor the essence of the individual exactly where they are in that present moment. We know that being in the present is really the only place where actual change can happen. We have also seen that the experiences with horses allows the individual to “implicitly know” what is important for a full life and also gives them a glimmer of what that could look like.
Seeing with the heart allows us to be in present moment awareness and to live from our authentic self. Your heart is an instrument made of extremely subtle energy. When you “feel” music, see the beauty of a flower, or bird song, you can hear it and see it, but the feeling comes through the filter of the heart. The heart controls the energy flow of opening and closing to others. The heart closes when stored energy, feelings, or unfinished business block the opening of the heart. Barbara Fredrickson and Marty Seligman, former president of the American Psychological Association and founder of positive psychology, among others have taken the scientific rigor developed in traditional psychology, based on the medical model and directed it towards understanding human potential Seligman challenged the field to look at what makes a person healthy rather that what makes them sick. Fredrickson says that one way to increase positivity is to be aware of the present moment, because she says most moments are positive. She says we miss many opportunities to experience positive emotions by thinking too much about the past and the future, rather than being open to what is. “Living in my head got me through difficult times when I was younger and helped me become a great student. But I think it disconnected me from my heart”. I would encourage Barbara and others to join us in nature, to enjoy the present moment, and learn directly from the heart of the horses.
Kathleen Barry Ingram, MA
September 2009 ©
Equine Facilitated Learning, Psychotherapy, & Coaching: A Comparison
March 1, 2009 by Kathleen
EQUINE FACILITATED LEARNING, PSYCHOTHERAPY, COACHING: A COMPARISON
The field of Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL) has undergone a lot of changes in the recent years. There has been quite a controversy about how to name what we, who co-facilitate with horses in advanced personal development work, actually call ourselves and how we identify what we are doing. The Epona Approach™ and the work I am currently engaged in with Leigh Shambo at Human Equine Alliances for Learning (HEAL) both agree that the horses are our full partners in this endeavor. Their innate knowledge, wisdom, and accurate intuition guide us as human facilitators when we follow their lead and learn from these consummate teachers. Some practitioners/facilitators identify themselves as practicing Equine Experiential Learning (EEL); Equine Facilitated Experiential Learning (EFEL); Facilitated Equine Experiential Learning (FEEL); Equine Facilitated Psychotherapy (EFP) Equine Therapeutic Learning (ETL); Equine Assisted Coaching (EAC), however I refer to what I practice as Equine Facilitated Learning (EFL). The following information is presented to shed some light on the various ways of working, and on what I feel are some of the most important principles and guidelines to follow as we continue this important partnership with the horse.
Psychotherapy Coaching
• Therapy is about uncovering & More about Discovering
Recovering
• Based on the Medical Model Not about disease but about
of dis-ease and diagnosis optimum health
• Examining the past Being in the present
• Looking to therapist for solutions Mutual examination
for emotional concerns
• Helping clients move from a state Assisting people who are highly
of dysfunction to one of being functional but may not be achieving
functional their full personal or professional
potential
• More of a doctor/patient relationship Partnering with clients in a creative
process
Equine Facilitated Learning and the lessons we acquire from interactions with the horses is based on mutual understanding and respect. As professionals in this field we do need to be aware of the clients’ projections and transference involving ourselves and the horses, and our own counter-transference issues. Much of the information in the coaching profession as well as experiential learning has come from traditional psychotherapeutic principles and dynamics.
The pioneering work of Adler and Jung is noted by Patrick Williams, a psychologist for 28 years who moved into the coaching profession and in 1990 helped in the formation of the International Coaching Federation, (ICF). Williams says: “Adler and Jung saw individuals as the creators and artists of their lives and frequently involved their clients in goal setting, life planning, and inventing their future —- all tenets in today’s coaching.” He also points to Carl Rogers work with client-centered therapy as a “significant precursor to coaching”. (Williams, “Counseling Today” December, 2008)
Edward Colozzi, a career development expert and author of the book Creating Careers with Confidence says; “Although coaching has its limitations, its practice harkens back to the times in many cultures when spiritual leaders, shamans, mentors or others in the community offered informational guidance. It is, in a way, a back-to-the-future paradigm shift. A life coach is a mentor—a person who joins us on a journey. Many people have performed that role in the past. But in a society such as ours that starts to have rules and regulations—that may be where counseling was born. Now, perhaps, we are seeing a return to something more basic.” (Colozzi, “Counseling Today” December,2008)
Irvin Yalom, MD, considered by many as the “Father of Group Therapy”, says that with the current crisis in psychotherapy, there will not be enough trained individuals to do the work. “Psychiatry is on the verge of abandoning the field of psychotherapy. Young psychiatrists are forced to specialize in psychopharmacology because third party payers now reimburse for psychotherapy only if it is delivered by low fee (in other words, minimally) trained practitioners.” Even though Yalom is concerned about the current state of affairs, he is confident that a “cohort of therapists coming from a variety of educational disciplines will continue to pursue rigorous post graduate training.
Equine Facilitated Learning can fill some of what is missing in the health care system . Individuals seeking change from old dysfunctional patterns of behavior and automatic responses based on unconscious motivations can find help and assistance through the Way of The Horse. Yalom says, “At its very core, the flow of therapy should be spontaneous, forever following unanticipated river beds” Therapy following a managed care protocol does not allow for spontaneity and reflection. The horses, as our teachers, and co-facilitators demand that we “go with the flow” and therefore, keep the interaction dynamic and in the present moment.
Short Term Dynamic Psychotherapy, an area I studied extensively in post graduate work with one of my mentors, Dr Paul Rosenberg, works with the unconscious forces (the dynamics) of inner conflict by holding a supportive container for clients to experience in the present moment emotions and memories from the past. Much of the material and teaching I developed for educating students of EFL came from the theories behind this approach and the clinical experience of my clients. What I got to see for myself as I engaged more with the horses was that this dynamic was present in many of the sessions I conducted with a client and a horse. The challenge was how to develop a process in experiential learning that held the container present in a psychotherapeutic session. The container suggested in the phrase I call holding the sacred space of possibility was essential in establishing safety for both the client and the horse. Without suspension of judgment and personal desire for an expected outcome, a reflective round pen and any active or passive engagement with the horse becomes more of repeat of old behaviors and attitudes. “I am the expert and thus you and the horse should do this my way.” The facilitator’s understanding of their own unconscious forces or dynamics underlying their thoughts, feelings, actions and behaviors is absolutely necessary for the client and the horse to have a truly creative and innovative equine experience. The Johari Window, the Karpman Trauma/Drama triangle and the thorough study of projection, transference, introjection and countertransference are ways to enhance and support students participating in an EFL training program. If the student is interested, engaged and encouraged to explore these dynamics themselves, they will be far ahead of many who practice equine facilitated learning, equine experiential learning, psychotherapy and/or coaching.
My own personal opinion around the discussion and controversy of whether to use the designation of equine facilitated learning, equine facilitated psychotherapy or equine assisted coaching when describing your practice is simply this, “Know thyself”. I believe if you know your personal style, understand your thought processes and emotions, and are actively and enthusiastically engaged in a relationship with any sentient being, the likelihood of a mutual and successful partnership is possible. The excellent facilitator is a mentor, a truth seeker, a challenger, and most of all someone who guides each person towards personal accountability, integrity, ease, and fulfillment.
Our teachers, mentors, friends and co-facilitators, the horses say “Thanks for listening”.
Horse Wisdom: photo by Larney Otis
Kathleen Barry Ingram, MA
Excerpt from “Unexpected Grace: How Horses Changed my Life”
Copyright, 2009